Sparks will fly #13 #resolve

Mornings sometimes arrive as relief, no longer a struggle to sleep with thoughts that refuse to go away. Dawn creeps between the blades of blinds eeking out an invitation to a new beginning. Wondering if I can be trusted with the wandering, chattering questions, that will never be answered without forensic investigation, the day light draws me the present and offers a fresh start, forward.

I am learning something gone does not need to be replaced or repaired or even re-imagined. It can just be gone. Ended. Not everything resolves. Yet, I do long for a resolve.

While learning a new song yesterday, there was line that did not resolve, it just hung there, suspended as a single whole note, when joined with the other three parts there was a resolution in the next phrase. To wait for the next phrase, to be joined by others before the harmony can be heard. I always get a lesson from the music.

Resolving is like untangling a brainteaser, the discovery to be found remaining hidden, until a new insight arrives or piece of information is added, or the time comes for the resolution to arrive.

I am in the lounge at the airport and breakfast is being served, but the purpose of my visit to this place is to take me to another city. There maybe resolutions waiting for me there, but more likely clues towards resolutions in the making.There is a neverending dance of beginnings and endings, and everything in between, has the seeds of both as well. The chance to be ‘half a shade braver’ as David Whyte would say, embedded in every conversation.

I recently was subjected to some feedback from a leadership group I am a part of, one piece of feedback that I am hanging onto is someone described me as “fearless”. I try to be brave, to be honest, to speak truth to power. I was touched at another noticing that quality, in reality though it is more that I am secure because I am the least responsible for others than I have ever been. I have nothing to loose. It means I can do and speak in ways others might not be able. This is a new kind of turning up and a new responsibility.

Facing your own fears, nearly always revolves around a dip into humiliation, willingness to be wrong and a testing the trust quotient of others. When someone has my back through that moment, I am resolved.

For all those who have my back I am deeply grateful and it helps me be a half a shade braver as well as teaching me how to have the back of others. These past few weeks has been a season where I have been blessed with people having my back as I have worked, and am working, to resolve matters on a number of fronts.

Invoking the style of John O’Donohue’s blessings, here is one I have written for those who have had my back and helped bring resolutions and for myself when I am called on to do the same.

A blessing for those who have your back

When the moment comes and you are needed to hold the space,

May you gaze with encouragement to reach the heart who needs to feel that gaze.

When the moment comes and fear arrives,

May you stand beside and offer comfort.

When the moment comes and discomfort and distracting thoughts, vie for power,

May you hold the focus and intent.

When the moment comes and the voice waivers,

May you silently, steadfastly, let no one interrupt.

When the moment comes and the words take shape,

May you add your voice to affirm and confirm.

When the moment comes and other step is needed,

May you step up and take one for the team.

When the moment comes and resolve is in the air,

May you be ready to act and say “I have your back”.


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